just a few to pass the time

pantry list

i gave him a
sort of
gift registry, a
grocery list
for my heart's
pantry. he
came home
arms full of bags,
piles of what
he thought
i needed.
it's not that
i don't like
what he brought,
for me,
special,
it's that i'm
low on staples.
that's why
the list.
ingrate, grey-
brown, a
haze on the
glow, it's
that one
christmas,
the reproach
of expectation.
he brought,
special, all
this, for me,
and
how dare i
sy none
of this
was on
the list.



buried treasure

take that pearl
and lock it up
and if we can
pretend for awhile
it'll be like
it was never
there at all.
denial can
work wonders
wrought of air
and forgetfulness.



mapmakers

oh to be some ancient
Queen, and send my
men to map the world
for me. here there be
monsters, sure, and over
there we could fall off the
edge of the world.
we could spend days in
the library or parlor
pouring over papers,
plotting possible routes
and tracing imaginary
rivers we would never
have to travel.



rat king

i tell myself not to look
not to think too far
but it turns and niggles,
tears and nibbles, two or
three white rats.
the nest was built
before i noticed, and
now occupied be the
space between the walls.
fumigation proves ineffective.
i got some help and tore
off some drywall
yet the infestation continues.



thornberries

somehow it always
leaves me less coherant
than usual. again i
go to the bramble
thinking succulent
berries. every grab
finds a thorn
to pierce my thumb.
i come away battered,
bloodyhanded, empty
basket. i've words,
piles of 'em, but
the words for him
seem to hide in
thickets, behind
nettles,
ever out of reach.



unmasked

i think the mask
slipped for a second
there in the middle
of the tide.
a sliver of truth
perhaps unnoticed,
hopefully forgotten
in the press and
shuffle of the course
of the games.
i saw a glance
pass my way
i don't know if
they saw clearly
i don't know
if they've found
me out.